June 2008 Newsletter
It seems like so long since I have written anything. So very much has happened. Where do I begin?
This has been a period of wonderful restoration and healing for me. I have gone through 3 major deliverances as the Lord has been faithful to root out some of the deeper hidden areas of my life.
Two of the three deliverances involved two spirits, principalities actually, that had been in my family line for 4,500 years! They surfaced in my life when I was 4 years old and their identity was finally revealed through vision and revelation a long and grueling 51 years later. It took a month to get rid of them because it was a struggle to want to be free from them. They had been so much a part of me for so very long. But with the struggle over, they were forced to leave and freedom flooded my spirit.
After they left, I had a bit of a reprieve before my blood pressure skyrocketed once again. I thought my head would explode. But, one Monday night at church, rage filling my soul with unrequited anger, frustration and jealousy, the Lord said to me, “I want you to go and lay hands on people. I want you to break the manhole cover over their lives and release them into their destiny.”
I argued with Him for about 30 minutes because I was in no mood to do anything but sit there and fume. But, as usual, He won the argument and as I slowly rose to the challenge, He faithfully gave me a vision for each person who was attending that night. And when I was done, I said to Him, “Well, what about me?” Well, actually, I said, “Everyone else got something, why not me?” And I guess I said it in the microphone. Oooops.
I am not sure why He says nice things to everyone else and I always seem to get a reprimand, but He said to me, “You need to repent because you are angry with Me. You've been angry with me since you were 4 years old.”
And, well, He was right. I have spent a lifetime of being angry with Him because my life has not been exactly wonderful!. With each word spoken against me, I blamed God deep in my heart and I held that grudge regardless of what He showed me or what He would have me do. I did not even know that I was angry with Him. And I had to honestly repent of that now revealed anger towards God and jealousy towards others.
It was a hard thing to do, but I did it.
Then for days later, I started almost passing out and getting dizzy. I went to my doctor who checked my blood pressure. He took me off my blood pressure medication because my blood pressure was too low now! I repented and the Lord healed me. Amazing how that works! That was a month ago, and there has been no recurrence of high blood pressure. Not even a hint of it has returned.
But I still had the eye problems, poor hearing, stomach and legs problems going on – especially my right one (the knee replacement) that was excruciating and getting worse as each day passed. I have never had the dramatic, “everything instantly gone” healing like others have reported. Things with me have just disappeared unnoticed.
So, still in great pain, my friend dragged me off to a home group that was having a special speaker from Peru . And true to form, I was prophesied over first and it was a reprimand while everyone else in the room got wonderful words causing eyes to moisten.
Not wanting to return, I was dragged down to another meeting. My leg was particularly bad that night and I sat in the chair in agony whilst fuming about the injustice of it all – I didn't want another reprimand. I wanted someone to tell me something nice for a change.
As I sat there watching others be prayed over and manifesting the Holy Spirit, I was less than pleased. And the Lord said to me, “You need to repent of what you have done to My people.”
Well, again He was right. He unfortunately is always right. And I was beginning to see a pattern.
The first commandment is to love God with all our heart. I had to repent of my anger towards Him. The second commandment is to love His people. I had to repent of every word, thought or deed I have committed against His people….it doesn't matter what they have said or done to me.
I suppose, if the truth be known, I have been a little less than gracious towards God's people. And since He created ALL people, that includes everyone, including drivers who cut me off or edge into line in front of me after I have been waiting twenty minutes to gain half a car-length.
Yes, I have been a little less than gracious.
So, reluctantly I thought about it and slowly I repented…using the words the Holy Spirit gave me even though they stuck in my mouth with an unpleasant taste. But I did mean it. The words were full of heartfelt repentance.
Then suddenly, the pastor who was laying hands on people started describing the pain in my leg that 3 cortisone shots had not touched. I jumped out of my chair and went forward. He laid hands on the back of my leg, the knees (well, the area where the knee caps are supposed to be), spit on his fingers and stuck them in my ears. He even prophesied over me. For the first time, I received words that were encouraging and really prophetic, instead of a chastisement.
The pain that had ravaged my leg for 1.5 years was gone instantly. It was like night and day. Amazing and so obvious. And the pain has not returned.
When he pulled his fingers out of my ears, I could hear much better. The lights in my eye from the laser surgery were gone. And my left thigh that had been numb for 31 years because of botched surgery suddenly had feeling in it.
The Lord promised me more healing and said that my life was in a turn-around.
It has been a process of repentance and deliverance, but one that has led me back onto the path of restoration of God's will for my life.
My heart has changed in ways I never imagined possible. My thinking has changed.
But as I write these words, I realize that I have not delved into the 3 rd level of healing – repenting of what I have done to myself, fulfilling the 3 rd command given by Jesus.
I have not been given that revelation yet, so I will wait until the Lord brings it to my heart in His way. Only then can I deal with the remaining things He wants cleansed.
But the Lord is pouring out into the earth like He has never poured before…and I praise God for this, that I…you…all of us were saved for such a time as this.
The Lord is leading me into a more focused ministry that really excites me. It is what I have been trained to do but have never felt released to move in. We don't need more teaching, we need the fresh, living word from the Lord. So in that vein, I will teach only a little, while the main focus during times of ministry will be laying on of hands and breaking the bondages that hold us back, then releasing God's will for their lives.
The Lord wants to break whatever is holding each one back, to have that restricting spirit cast into the pit. We will release and restore the gifts, promises, prophetic word and the life God placed in each one. We will pray for healing of broken hearts, shattered spirits and broken bodies. It is time for the healing of God's people, breaking the bondages and restoring them to relationship with their Lord.
I am most excited about this. My heart leaps within me at the opportunity to free God's people. It has been my cry forever and will continue to grow as He increasingly gives me His love for His people. And now He has given me the tools to do this and the understanding of how to use them.
We are in a great outpouring of the River of God upon the earth. This great move of the Spirit will wash us clean bringing God's people into relationship with Him like never before. We are returning to the Eden experience where we will walk with Him in the cool of every morning. Relationship. Relationship. Relationship. It is all about relationship. It has always been about relationship. We have just corrupted the original plan of God to fit our own understanding. Let's stop trying to stuff Him into our mindset, instead of conforming to His.
We were never created to die and go to heaven. At least, not in the sense we have all come to accept. Sickness was not in the original scheme. Poverty and need, spiritually, physically or mentally was not in the original plan. We were created, each one of us, to fulfill a unique and specific relationship niche with the Lord, a niche no one else can fill. God is SO big it takes ALL of us to fill His need for relationship.
I have been inundated with visions over this last two months. They have been of varying topics and lengths of time, but they have followed one consistent theme. Relationship.
I have been to the age of New Jerusalem and it has been unlike any vision I have ever seen before. I was actually living there…it was my future and I was transported to that place and time. They were only quick flashes, tastes of what is coming…but with overwhelming feeling and peace….
I was sitting at a table with 3 other people. I have no idea who they were and I had the sense I didn't even know them at that time. But there I was, sitting at a table with them. And we were having communion. It was a time of captivating love and overwhelming unity…it filled my entire being to overflowing. I broke bread and drank wine with these people and they were part of me…even though I had no idea who they were. There were millions of people who were in New Jerusalem, and I did not know any of them, but it didn't matter. We were all one. We were all kin. And we all broke bread whenever we were together.
Then the Lord instructed me to begin taking communion every day, preferably in the morning. I was to take communion with others when they were in my home or by myself if I was alone. We were to break bread and have wine daily in remembrance of Him. Whenever I got together with anyone else, wherever that might be, we were to partake of communion.
I have never thought much about communion. I never particularly cared one way or the other when communion was served in the church with its tiny crackers and little cups of grape juice. It did not seem important to me at all, and if I missed it, I never thought about it. But the times I did partake I was always happy to be there…until it was over and leaving me dissatisfied...wanting more.
Then the Lord showed me a vision of what the wine and the body were, and why we were to partake of it. What a difference perception makes. I had never before seen it this way, never heard it taught, but it resonated within my spirit. An excitement grew within me, although I still had no idea what to do. I felt clumsy the first time, for the vision was not full yet.
But Susan and I sat down and took two large wheat crackers and half a wine-glass of grape juice. As we looked down at the items in our hands, I spoke what I saw.
The body of Christ that we are to partake of and share is the church. We are to ingest the church and each one in the church. By taking them into ourselves, symbolically, we take responsibility to care for them. They become part of us. We love God and we show that by sitting down and partaking of the Communion. But it is not enough. We must partake of the body and love the body as He loves the body. He gave His life for His body, and we need to do the same.
We partake of the broken bread of the body because His body is broken – the church.
That was easy the first day. And I found that it profoundly changed my heart. After deliverance and repentance, when I sat down to partake of this Communion, I found that as I ate the cracker, I was eating the church and love for God's people filled my heart.
This is not the backbiting and slandering, the whispers and destruction that we have come to partake of in the church. But it was a welcoming into my heart, body, spirit and soul the very people God died for. And it was easy the first day to do this symbolically.
The grape juice was easy for it was the life of Christ that we need to take in and let fill us. We need to let it fill us to overflowing…and that is why the cups are not to be miniature, little drops of His Spirit.
The original Communion included goblets of wine and handfuls of bread. They held these items in their hand and because it took so long to eat and drink of the Communion, they had time to meditate on what they were doing and just what the symbols represented.
The wine is the life of Christ – the fullness of His life. Revelation. Healing. Signs. Wonders. Miracles. Love. Wisdom. Understanding. Do you want more? Partake of a full goblet of His life for His life is in the blood.
The next morning we excitedly came together for communion. Again it was His church…but this time it was all His church…even the ones I have had trouble with…the ones who rejected me.
The third day was even more difficult. We were to ingest and welcome into ourselves the very ones we did not like, for they were His children and creation too.
The fourth day was even worse. It represented the people on the street, the poor that I so hastily walk around, safely avoid.
We are to partake of the broken bread of His body until we all come into unity and oneness, one with Him and each other.
We do it in remembrance of Him because that is His desire – unity in relationship.
In New Jerusalem, we spend a great deal of time building relationships. We will all be one in spirit and desire. We will be one as the Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit are one. There will be no petty strivings, jealousies, discontentments, backbitings, arguments, etc. We will all be unified.
When such situations arise here and now, we should take communion together, break bread and ingest the symbol of each other making them one with us. I discovered it is very difficult to think of someone as separate now that I have ingested them into myself.
We have sickness and die early because we do not discern the body of Christ. This is what I have been shown through our communion time. The body of Christ is every person on the earth. That is what we were created to be regardless of our final choice in the matter. It's not over till it's over.
I was also shown that it is not the death of Christ upon the cross or all the preaching in the world that will turn the world upside down. If that was so, the world would be in a much better state than it is now. But it is the Communion of Relationship that will turn the world upside down. It is what turned the world upside down in the time of the apostles. I watched as it began in one house and they went out to have communion with others, who have communion with others, and so on until the whole world is ablaze because of the true love of God revealed.
The true love is taking responsibility and caring for each other because we truly are all part of each other.
We have the tools to be what God created us to be. We have the tools to change the world and to truly become perfected. But the tools were lost in the traditions of men.
I for one will obey the directives given to me by God. I will have communion whenever I gather with another. I will have communion with the Lord, the head of the body. When I go to church on Monday nights, I will bring communion for the whole church. And we will break bread and ingest the symbol of each other and welcome them into our lives, taking responsibility for them and caring about them in a deeper, more personal way. I will take communion with myself, for I too am part of the body and need to learn to love myself as well.
I will fulfill the commandment of Jesus – Love God with all my heart and strength; love others as I love myself.
It will be a major undertaking, this change of heart and thought, but it will be an exciting time of healing and growing.
I pray you all join me on this path back to the original plan of God. There is so much more in Communion that I have not even touched upon, for it is closely wrapped up with the age of New Jerusalem.
Father God, I repent of all the offences I have taken or given. I repent of all the words, thoughts, deeds and actions I have committed against Your people, Your children, Your creation. Father, I thank You that You first created me, and secondly, loved me enough to send Your Son to give up His life so that I might live…not a selfish, isolated life, but the one You intended. Forgive me of my estrangement. Forgive my offence and offensive attitudes. Forgive me of the way I have ignored Your body, Your unity and Your life. Forgive me for not knowing, not seeing what it is truly all about – that we will spend eternity building relationships one with another for we will be in unity.
I have said before that there will be no commerce in New Jerusalem. Commerce has never been Your way. We will spend eternity creating, as do You, for we are Your children. We will spend eternity being what You created us to be and doing what we were created to do. We were created to be in relationship with You, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and one another. Our family is huge. We are all part of one another. Father, pour into us that unity of heart and purpose. Let our love grow and take over the world like a raging fire.
Father, You have poured out Your signs and wonders into the earth – this is not a new thing but the latter rain of the time of the Apostles. But, as wonderful as these signs, wonders and miracles are, Lord, I pray, change our hearts. Change our thoughts and our ways until we think like You do and see through Your eyes. We want to see the wonders of Your heavenly realm, but Lord, I declare now that it is much better to see each other through Your eyes, to see the love You have for us from before the foundation of the world. Let me see through Your eyes. Heal my cold heart and empty spirit – pour in Your love for one another so I may care for Your children as You do.
I command every spirit of offence and unforgiveness to be cast into the pit where it belongs, and to loose my heart and my thoughts. Holy Spirit, I ask for You to rise up within me and heal me of all wounds and hurts. Pour the balm of Gilead into my heart and heal it. Bless everyone who has hurt me, not a miserly blessing, but one of abundance and revelation in Your life. Father, fill them with Your love and blessing until they too see the truth. Father, fill them with wonder and awe for Your goodness. For every word that has been spoken against me, Father bless them and break off the power and assignment of those words in my life. For every word I have spoken against someone else, I ask that You now bless them abundantly and give them life where I have spoken death. Give them blessing where I have cursed, even every driver who has cut me off and I have spoken ill of.
Father, lift up your body and fill me with the discernment of Your body until I am full of Your love and see through Your eyes. In Jesus' most precious and holy name, for He alone is the worthy Lamb, amen.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you
God bless you all
Jessica
